This last weekend Andrew and I had another counseling session with my dad. He helped me to better articulate my thoughts from a previous post. I am right in saying that acceptance is not enough. Acceptance can lead to resentment and does not foster change and growth. If Andrew were to simply accept parts of my personality that he does not like, nothing changes except that eventually Andrew will begin to resent the fact that I continue to do whatever I want. While I am left completely unaware of his sacrifice.
We need to communicate to each other about the things that each of us needs and desires from the other in order to build a happy and successful relationship.
Then comes the MOST IMPORTANT part of the whole equation. Selfless, sacrificial love. If Andrew loves me selflessly while lovingly telling me what I need to work on then how can you do anything but change for the better. And if I am loving Andrew selflessly then I am going to want to do whatever it is in my power to make him as happy as possible.
God does not simply accept us how we are. If he did he would never have sent his son to die for us. There would have been no need. Instead he demonstrated the very essence of sacrificial love by giving up his son so we can be with him. How then could we do anything else but desire to be the kind of person he wants us to be. That is what selfless love does, it allows the people around you to become the kind of person worthy of such a love. Yet the ironic thing is, we were bestowed that love while we were still sinners. We did absolutely nothing to deserve it. And that is how it should be in our marriage. Even when it seems impossible to love the person you are with, we are called to continue to love them just as Christ continues to love us, without us having done anything to merit it.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense it was just flowing while I was typing, and I have found that just because it makes sense in my head doesn't mean anyone else can follow it:)
